Does my paper about depression seem accurate? Convincing?
Did you know that, according to outofthedarkness.org more Americans suffer from depression than coronary heart disease, cancer and HIV/AIDS? Depression causes suicide, monetary losses, immense emotional suffering, and other diseases. The Uplift Program says that 15% of depressed people will commit suicide. This contributes to the 33,000 people in the United States that commit suicide every year. Outofthedarkness also says that 75% of people who die by suicide suffer from major depression. The Uplift Program also states that according to studies depression will be the second largest killer after heart disease by 2020. There is also the financial aspect. The previous source goes on to state that depression results in more absenteeism than almost any other physical disorder and costs employers more than US$51 billion per year in absenteeism and lost productivity, not including high medical and pharmaceutical bills. Studies are increasingly linking more illnesses to depression, including: osteoporosis, diabetes, heart disease, some forms of cancer, eye disease and back pain. Arguable the biggest consequence of depression is the deep emotional pain. Hopelessness, loneliness, and feelings of inadequacy are very common. The biggest symptom is just utter despair and misery with no hope. No one should have to live through that.
Depression is caused in the brain. It is a physical disorder, like asthma or a vitamin deficiency. With a combination of therapy and anti-depressants 80% of depression can be significantly improved. So why is it that 80% of depression goes untreated, leading to years in emotional pain or suicide? The answer is in the social stigma applied to depression and a lack of education. 54% of people believe that depression is a personal weakness, according to the uplift program. This leads to people hiding it, not wanting to be labeled as “emo” or weird. No one can deny how judgmental teens are, and this is why it needs to be discussed and talked about. There is also the fact that there is practically no education on depression. The Illinois State Board of Education’s website lists state goals for health education. They list that students should know how to wash hands by a certain age or talk about pollution’s effect on our health but nowhere do they mention the 3rd highest killer of teenagers. At any given point more people are suffering from depression than colds, yet our state thinks it is more important to educate us on the flu?! Health class is mandated all the way to high school, but they couldn’t find one week to dedicate to it?
While there is no easy way to “cure” depression overnight there are many things to do to provide help. Depression CAN be treated. What needs to happen is people need to recognize depression and seek help. A little education can do a lot. One week of health class curriculum devoted to warning signs and how to get help can drastically change people’s views. According to ABC news a group of more than 3,500 students took a test on knowledge on depression, completed a depression curriculum, and then took the test again. The number of students scoring 80 percent or higher more than tripled after the program. This shows that a little education can educate a lot. With 80% of people with depression not seeking treatment for a variety of reasons including shame or not recognizing their symptoms education could help a lot. People could go from thinking their depression is shameful to realizing it is a disorder that can be treated. Students should be taught the warning signs of depression and suicide, that way they can recognize it. 80% of teens who committed suicide showed warning signs. If people recognized these the people could get help. Education is key. With proper education depression will go from being taboo to a disorder that should be treated.
In conclusion depression, which is very prevalent, causes suicide, monetary losses, and deep emotional pain. A large part of the problem is people’s lack of education, which leads to people not getting help, along with the feelings of shame associated. This can be changed if people are educated. If people were educated on the warning signs, what causes it, and that it could be treated fewer Americans would suffer every day. Every person can help solve this problem. Learn the warning signs. Learn the cause. Learn how to help a friend. If you suspect someone you know may be suicidal tell someone. If you are feeling depressed or suicidal call 1-800-SUICIDE for help.
Did you actually read it?
I am giving at as a speech
so yeah, talking kind of sounds like babble
The only problem is technically it is a speech not a paper, for competetive public speaking, so I can’t do the number thing, and you are supposed to say things like “in conclusion”, it is kinda how it works
Tagged with: about • accurate • Convincing • Depression • paper • seem
Filed under: Anti Aging Vitamins
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It sounds like you just babble on and on and on and on about it
Instead of saying ‘according to (blank)’ cite it by putting in a little number and the citation on teh bottom (more to it than I can explain here). All you need is the number, don’t mention in words who you got info from.
Try having less details/facts in teh opening paragraph, put those instead (great facts by the way) in the body paragraphs.
You began a tangent on the financial effects in the introduction and then never wrote more of it in another paragraph. Either delete the sentences or write another paragraph.
Yeah it was really convincing though, GREAT facts.
Oh and try not to say ‘in conclusion’. It’s very… 5th grade. Just delete those two worsd, the sentence will mak it apparant that it is a conclusion on it’s own.
It’s very good, seems accurate. The only thing I thought needed to be improved on was the conclusion you had already written about the monetary loses and deep emotional pain. I would leave those out.
Try not to repeat yourself in your conclusion. All in all it’s a great paper.
Would you get depressed if I told you I think you paper is stupid? Come on! Do you actually think depression is just a chemical imbalance? Depression is more complicated than that. Doctors like to say that they can solve problems people have, but what about the mother who was put on anti-depressants and got so depressed while on them she killed herself and her children? What about numerous people that kill themselves on anti-depressants because the side-effects are so bad, but they’re forced to take them by some psychiatric treatment order.
Go to some sites on anti-psychiatry and get the people’s view. Don’t just spout medical and pharmecuetical manuals. Of course they’re going to promote their products and services as being the solution, everyone does that for their business!.
Depression can be caused and often is caused by tragic things happening in a persons life. Sometimes giving a person hope, confidence and people to communicate with helps a person stop being depressed better than any pill can.
Now, I sound a bit narky, but it’s because I know stuff. So think about what I say, follow up the other side and you’ll write a more insightful paper.
Cheers.
I learned to-night that depression causes cell loss in the hypocampus. Medication actually grows new cells.
ECT is very effective for treating depression, when meds are not effective.
Good essat. Your last paragraph sounds too much like the first. Try to summarize without using the same words.